There have been many times that my honesty has gotten me into trouble. When I was young and dumb, I admitted to owning an anonymous blog where I let myself dump all of my thoughts in one place. The blog contained some of my most entertaining writing to date, and at its peak popularity I was receiving thousands of unique visitors each day. It was my first taste of internet popularity, but in the end it cost me a job and a few friends. More recently, my honesty regarding my struggles with mental health and suicide were used as leverage against me in an attempt to take away the my rights to parent my child, which is repulsive at it's very core. In short, some people just don't seem to care for my honesty.
So, for a long time, I made my blog private. I stopped using it as an outlet for my thoughts, fears, and triumphs. I stopped documenting my life out of fear that something I say here would be misconstrued in order to hurt me once again.
I'm a writer, and I always have been. Frequently I struggle to express myself vocally, but when I start to write the words just flow. Writing feels good, and it so much more therapeutic than painting or drawing or any other creative outlet that I have tried. I write for me, not for the people that read this blog. I write because it helps me process events and emotions; I write because it's how I heal. And I write honestly about my mental health journey because maybe it will help someone who is also struggling.
So fuck it. Fuck everyone that wants to use my honesty against me. Fuck the people that don't have empathy, or that decide that I express myself in the wrong way. For those of you that support me, and love me, thank you. The rest of you can exit stage left.