i had a baby

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Every time I look into her little face, I'm still blown away by the fact that I have another daughter. This was something that I was sure would never happen again for me. I had accepted my fate, and adjusted my expectations so that I could find happiness with my life. 

I spent my whole pregnancy anxious and incredibly sick, but also excited and hopeful. My body, the one that I was told would never carry another child to full term, managed to create this tiny human that is perfectly healthy and sleeps for hours at a time. 

How do you put into words the feeling that you get when your deepest, most important dream comes true? I haven't figured it out yet, although I have spent hours staring at her face in wonder. 

My oldest is still my first baby, the one that made me a mother. She's the one that changed everything for me. I couldn't comprehend how I could love any other person as much as I love her. I get it now. My heart didn't split my love in two, it multiplied it without question.